it`s been two weeks since i`ve rediscovered my long lost love for anything spn-related and spent enormous hours reading fiction. Yeah, yeah, i`m shallow like that)

Though right now it`s mostly j2, cause i have to admit when spn ends, i`ll really miss seeing those two together.

So, after gorgeous "The doors of time" i found "Smoke & Lightning: Heavy Metal Thunder". Guys, its bikers AU, what`s not to love?

Off to read.

today was certainly a memorable day, cause in the end of it, my second hard drive`s decided to cease eventually... :(

It`s unbelievable the way this new fandom got me. Like really.

I`m watching everything i can find, i`m reading non-stop all the stories ever written... Last time something like that`d happened to me it was Constantine and hot demon sex between balthazarxconstantine. And it was long ago.

I think it`s for the better that i actually got to get to work like in a day.

almost here - brian mcfadden & delta goodrem

Did I hear you right?
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, how it hurts
Oh, haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Bruise and battered by your words
Days are shattered, now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
And when I hold you
You're almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Cause I know I'm almost here

only almost here

Cary Brothers - Whistle

Sarah McLachlan song - "Fumbling towards ecstasy"

All the fear has left me now
I'm not frightened anymore.
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh.
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath

and if I shed a tear I won't cage it.
I won't fear love
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it.
I won't fear love.

Companion to our demons
they will dance and we will play.
With chairs candles and clothes
making darkness in the day.
It will be easy to look in or out
upstream or down
without a thought

and if I shed a tear I won't cage it.
I won't fear love
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it.
I won't fear love.

Peace in the struggle to find peace.
Comfort on the way to comfort

and if I shed a tear I won't cage it.
I won't fear love
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love.
I won't fear love.
I won't fear love...

You are everything I wanted
The scars of all I'll ever know

If I told you you were right
Would you take my hand tonight?
If I told you reasons why
Would you leave your life and ride?
And ride...

You saw all my pieces broken
This darkness that I could never show

If I told you you were right
Would you take my hand tonight?
If I told you reasons why
Would you leave your life and ride?
And ride...

Black lab - weightless

I can see, see you there
Hanging weightless in the air
Wind and sunlight in your hair
And I can see you, I can see you there
Olive skin, your secret smile
Can trade again a secret island in your mind
Lost forever, lost before your time
Who is to say?
Who is to know the truth?
And who is there left?
Nothing they said can save you
Broken glass, bleeding wrist
A second chance for a simple kiss
I waited for you at the edge
Could you take such a risk?
On your knees, on your back
Who’d you call when things got bad?
Did they answer? Did u ask?
Cuz I would answer, I would tell you this
Who is to say?
Who is to know the truth?
When no one is left and nothing they said can save you
And who is to say who is to blame?
Who will you give yourself to?
Cuz no body wants, more than I want you
Who is to say?
Who is to blame?
There’s nobody wants you like I do
Who is to say?
Who is to say?
Who is to know the truth?
When no one is left and nothing they said can save you
Who is to say? Who is to blame? Who will you give yourself to?
Cuz nobody wants, more than I want you
I can see you.

Smash!! - This could lead to something

This could lead, lead to something
In such a restless world you gotta do something
But if the move and your style it cause with nothing.

Let’s move, let’s get a little closer
A physical, mental, spiritual, sexual
Anything possible, oh baby


This could lead to something
Lead to something good.
Forget those morals baby
They never were that good.
This could lead to something
Lead to something fine .
I’m in it for the pleasure baby
Can’t you read my mind.

You can fix your heart, but then it gets broken.
And what you really wanna say, may never be spoken.

Let’s cut the social motions
A physical, mental, spiritual, sexual
Anything possible, oh baby

This could lead to something
Lead to something good.
Forget those morals baby
They never were that good.
This could lead to something
Lead to something fine.
I’m in it for the pleasure baby
Can’t you read my mind.

This could lead, lead to something

Let’s move, let’s get a little closer,
Go with a guiltless smile.
Let’s find that one position
Of physical mental spiritual sexual
Anything’s possible, oh baby

"Feel so free" - Ivy

alex lloyd - Black the sun

Oh no, look at what we done
Go away, oh no, won't you please stay?


And dream of me, I wish you
Would dream of me
And dream of me, I hope you
Will dream of me

Words we speak, pictures are the
Only things I keep. Rinse my mind
I'm sure it will join me in time


Up on your feet, around the bend
Searching, I hope it never ends.
Walking your lonely street again,
Where tide meets the shore.
woah woaaaah

On a silent road

And dream of me, I wish you would
Black the sun
And dream of me, I wish you would
Black the sun
And dream of me, I wish you would
Black the sun,
And dream of me, I wish you would
Black the sun
The sun

Evanescence - "My Immortal"

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase


I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Trespassers William - "Different stars"

All we are - OneRepublic

I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong
Black and white didn’t fit you
And all along, you were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything that I need just to make it

And I believe that I could tear you apart but it won’t break anything that you are, you are
We’ll say our goodbyes you know it’s better that way
We won’t break, we won’t die
It’s just a moment of change
All we are, all we are, is everything that’s right
All we need, all we need, our love is at a bind

I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would’ve fit
I figured there’s nothing to lose
I need to get some perspective on these words before I write them down
You’re an island and my ship is running ground

I could tear your apart, but it won’t break anything that we are, we are
We’ll say our goodbyes you know its better that way
We won’t break, we won’t die
It’s just a moment of change
All we are, all we are, is everything that’s right
All we need all we need, our love is at a bind
Every single day that I can breathe, you changed my philosophy
I’m never gonna let you pass me by
So don’t say your goodbyes you know its better that way
We won’t break, we won’t die
It’s just a moment of change (x2)
All we are, all we are, is everything that’s right
All we need, all we need, our love is at a bind

Спи - Юлия Бужилова

Дай мне хоть раз утонуть без тебя
Холодной ногой дотянуться до дна
Потерять контроль

Песок я увижу желтеющим небом
К нему подниму свои тонкие крылья
Его ловлю

Спи
я твои тихие сны
Спи
соберу из капель воды
Спи.
спи

Я превратилась вчера в чей-то шепот
Я подарила свой голос другим
Может, тебе
Ты не касайся воды – мне щекотно
Дай мне хоть раз утонуть без тебя
Хотя бы во сне

Sarah McLachlan "i will remember you"

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories

OneRepublic - Apologize

I'm holdin' on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground.
And I'm hearin' what you say,
But I just can't make a sound.
You tell me that you need me,
Then you go and cut me down...
But wait...
You tell me that you're sorry,
Didn't think I'd turn around...
And say...

That it's too late to apologize.
It's too late...
I said it's too late to apologize.
It's too late.

I'd take another chance,
Take a fall, take a shot for you.
I need you like a heart needs a beat,
But it's nothin' new.
I loved you with a fire red,
Now it's turnin' blue...
And you say...
Sorry, like an angel
Heaven let me think was you...
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize.
It's too late.
I said it's too late to apologize.
It's too late.


It's too late to apologize.
It's too late.
I said it's too late to apologize.
It's too late.

It's too late to apologize.
I said it's too late to apologize.
I'm holdin' on your rope,
got me ten feet off the ground.

Smile empty soul - "God`s army"

Tell me when to eat
Tell me when to breathe
Tell me what to think, and what to believe
Tell me when to cry
Who to trust and why
And send me off to die
I'll sacrifice my life

'Cause I'm ready
And I'm waiting
To give, my life for my country
I'm so sorry
Mama don't worry
Let's hope, I'm fighting for God's army

Hold me as I pray
This is my last day
Before I go to sleep
Freedom from decay
God I'd like to say
Thank you for the eight
Years we'll spend in pain
I'll probably die in vain

'Cause I'm ready
And I'm waiting
To give, my life for my country
I'm so sorry
Mama don't worry
Let's hope, I'm fighting for God's army

I really don't know why we're fighting
I know there's got to be a reason
Our government would never send us
Without a cause

So I'm ready
And I'm waiting
To give, my life for my country
I'm so sorry
Mama don't worry
Let's hope, I'm fighting for God's army

Institute "Wasteland"

They got aeroplanes
Flying over you
You cannot escape
See them watching you?
Be paranoid
They have lists
The walls are listening
They know what you did

Love is stronger then hate
We are always on planes
Find mad love in a wasteland
Find space in everything you can
Find mad love in the wasteland
Find space, find space

Taste the happiness
While she's hanging out with you
From a shadows
Life comes through
Be ready then
It could be anytime
If they come for you
Let them see you shine

Love is stronger then hate
We are always on planes
Find mad love in a wasteland
Find space in everything you can
Find mad love in the wasteland
Find space, find space

Got to find my way out of the wasteland
Move as fast as I can
Find my way out of the wasteland

They got aeroplanes
Flying over you
You cannot escape
You cannot escape
You cannot escape

Find mad love in a wasteland
Find space in everything you can
Find mad love in the wasteland
Find space, find space
In everything you can
In everything you can

Find my way out the wasteland
Find my way out the wasteland